
2 weeks cold turkey off the Zoloft
'cause the bastards couldn't fit me in 'til August and oh baby
the wiring in my head is bitching at me like the check engine light
in my car that I've been praying for the past 18 months doesn't catch up to me
yessir, I live my life like a fugitive on the run from myself
and thank God I ain't been caught yet, 'cause I got a show tonight

we are four gaping maws to dump weed, beer, and gas station hot dogs in
which I maintain is still a better band name than
Sideways Joe
but it was 3 to 1
I fuck up 4 times in 3 songs and I feel like an asshole
but the audience is hammered
and the show plugs on

Dill says it's a waste of energy to care more about the show than the audience does
and I think that's fuckin' dumb
and I think thinking like that is why Dill's on bass
even though he wanted drums
and the set I'm on's his
and I whack 'em extra hard, but it's alright
'cause he fucked my girl back in freshman year of highschool
so I think it evens out

Mike's screaming out his lungs like he didn't get through college on a choir scholarship
with a voice they used to have to cut your balls off to achieve
but I guess he's having fun
and I'm wondering how long he's gonna stay a he
'cause I remember all the drag and the jokes about castration
and the way he rubbed his face into my chest like a cat claiming you as its property [changed this line slightly]
sometimes I miss those days
other times I remember sharing bathroom stalls with the genuine animals that lived in those dorms

I used to be somebody's
I'm nobody's now
I am Bir Tawil between Egypt and Sudan, unclaimed by either, lacking resources valuable enough to war over
and some asshole in the pit's starting up a fight and distracting me from moping
fine by me
when stuff like this happens, I like to pretend I'm controlling them with my drums (or Dill's drums, in this case)
it's a lot of fun, and it's only gotten my ass beat in the parking lot 3 or 4 times so far

after the show, a few sweaty punks tell me it was awesome [changed this line slightly]
and I say thanks, but it doesn't really matter
the show is always awesome when you're that plastered
it's a good excuse to slam body into body
like sex, without the regret and disappointment
Dill says to be careful with the drums when I'm packing them up
it's his little way of showing they're still his, even though I'm the only one who plays them

Montana hasn't said a word all night, but in the parking lot he hands me a bottle of sodium nitrite
he's not sure if he's killing himself before Christmas, and he wants to make sure he isn't acting on impulse
I put it in my glove compartment
the only things I know about Montana are that he graduated from MIT
and he fucking hates Christmas
I don't know why he fucking hates Christmas
that's his cross to bear

I'm so worn out from the show and the slow electric pulse in my head I collapse on the couch
right next to the pile of laundry, 2 weeks old and unfolded
the fugitive escapes once again.